There are bad action movies, and then there are some action movies that are so dull and boring that you begin to wonder how anyone managed to mess up something so simple. Mutiny belongs firmly in that second category. This is a movie about Jason Statham fighting bad guys on a cargo ship. That should be pure cinematic comfort food, especially for those fans who never miss a new Statham movie. Yet, director Jean-François Richet manages to turn what should’ve been a sure thing into a total drag that feels like it was stitched together from pieces of much better action movies.

In fact, there’s good reason for this. Mutiny actually started as Ship, a direct sequel to Richet's moderately entertaining Gerard Butler action movie, Plane. When Butler backed out, the project was quickly reworked into a standalone movie featuring Statham. Unfortunately, the finished movie bears all the scars of that last-minute makeover. The characters’ motives, plot points, and overall story arc feel like they were quickly patched together to suit a completely different action star.

Statham plays Cole Reed, a former soldier and ex-cop who now works as private security for a billionaire shipping mogul. When the tycoon is murdered and Cole is framed, he goes on the run and sneaks aboard one of his late boss's cargo ships. Of course, the ship is crawling with bad guys, including a corrupt captain, and Cole soon uncovers a bigger plot involving human trafficking. In short: it's Die Hard on a cargo ship. Except without the suspense. Or the clever action. Or the memorable villain. Or, frankly, any of the fun.

What’s most frustrating about Mutiny is that it actually hints at a more interesting movie early on. At first, Cole is established as extremely observant. Noticing sounds, movements, and small details that most people would miss. Suggesting that his greatest weapon might be his mind rather than his fists, which would have been a nice twist on the Statham formula. He's also shown to be a skilled chess player, suggesting that he will easily outsmart the villains. However, as the movie moves forward, it basically ignores all of this.

Instead, Cole quickly becomes another typical Statham killing machine, taking out one nameless goon after another while the script pretends like there's a real mystery going on. Statham has spent an entire career around making this kind of material entertaining, but even he seems bored this time. Gone is the playful charm that makes his best performances so much fun. He mostly scowls, grunts, throws punches, and waits for the movie to end. To make matters worse, the action isn’t good enough to make up for the movie’s other problems. The entire movie has a strangely flat feel to it; fights break out, people are shot, and bones are broken. But none of it generates any real excitement, because the villains are forgettable and the movie never builds an ounce of tension.

Annabelle Wallis fares even worse as Angie Ellis, a third mate who gets dragged into Cole's mission. She doesn’t feel like a real character; she’s more of a walking plot device, stuck delivering clunky exposition and given almost nothing interesting to do. The main villains are somehow even more one-dimensional. Any great action movie knows that a hero is only as fun to watch as the bad guys trying to take him out. Mutiny clearly missed that point.

And that's the real problem here. Nobody buys a ticket to a Jason Statham movie expecting an Oscar-worthy masterpiece. You just need a ridiculous premise, a memorable villain, some clever fight choreography, and a handful of great one-liners, and then let Statham do his thing. Mutiny can't even manage that much. At only 95 minutes, this movie somehow feels twice as long. It's familiar, not comforting, violent but not exciting, and ridiculous without ever being any fun. Statham has made plenty of dumb popcorn action movies over the years, but even dumb popcorn movies are still supposed to be entertaining.

Mutiny doesn't sink because it's dumb. It sinks because it's dead in the water.

Mutiny is currently playing in select theaters and is available to rent on VOD.

REVIEW: “Mutiny”

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