Movie review star systems (or in our case, film slates) can look deceptively simple — which is kind of ironic, because movies almost never are. These ratings aren’t meant to be some definitive measure of a film’s artistic worth, a sacred critical decree, or the last word in cinematic debate. They’re just our best shot at distilling a reaction into something quick, readable, and easy to skim in a few seconds. If they also help you decide what’s worth your time, even better.
A 5-slate movie is the kind of masterpiece that lingers with you long after the credits roll, while a 0-slate film has likely earned its place in cinematic infamy. Most movies, of course, land somewhere in that fascinating middle — and that’s where these slates really come into play. Our ratings balance overall craft, entertainment value, originality, and how well a film actually delivers on what it sets out to do. So whether you’re here to back up your hot take or figure out what to watch next, hopefully these rankings give you a helpful nudge in the right direction.
Excellent. A genuine masterpiece, bordering on all-timer territory. It doesn’t just clear the bar, it resets it.
Great. The kind of movie that is firing on nearly every cylinder, reminding you how fun movies can be and memorably sticking with you long after it’s over.
Good. A solid movie that entertains and delivers on its promise, which makes it better than most of what’s also playing in theaters/streaming at home.
Okay. A movie that flirts with respectability and even manages to have its moments, but it’s missing that secret sauce that takes it from being watchable to memorable.
Disappointing. Overall, a letdown, but its few redeeming qualities save the movie from being a complete and total disaster.
Abysmal. An impressive feat of ineptitude. The kind of movie that makes you wonder not only how it got greenlit, but whether the filmmakers have ever actually seen a movie before.